Poll #1297139 Eggzact Measurement Needed
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 27

On a scale from 1 to 5 where 1 is "Hell no" and 5 is "Couldn't keep me away," based solely on the name, would you eat at a restaurant called Egg Heaven?

The results are in! It is official: Pie N' Burger is a good place to eat, knowing nothing more about it than the name.

For those of you who initially said no, no, I cannot give my tastebuds to such a place, I wish to tell you this: You may have been wrong, but we will honor your decision, and we will honor it by inviting you to... the ACTUAL Pie N' Burger!

I call for all Americans to stand behind Pie 'N Burger. Because hey. Pie and Burgers!

Apparently Pie N' Burger is actually reeeeeeally good. I shall visit and give my own review forthwith.

And unlike that other cheesy election, this one lets you decide how strongly you feel about your decision.

Poll #1291306 Decision 2008
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 27

On a scale from 1 to 5 where 1 is "Hell no" and 5 is "Couldn't keep me away," based solely on the name, would you eat at a restaurant called Pie N' Burger?

Today I saw a car with an Indiana license plate making a hugely illegal left turn off of Highland. The license plate read, along with the plate number, "In God We Trust."

This is one of those issues I haven't paid much attention to, though I was aware it existed. I didn't pay too much attention largely because I find it exasperating. It seems pretty clear to me that it it's unconstitutional, and will be found so. Of course, there are those who think it's just fine, and perhaps not all of their reasoning is entirely facile and specious. Nevertheless, as with many of these issues, it's one of those arguments that it's important to keep having. So hey, why not have a small portion of that argument right here?

Poll #1219643 In God We License Our Automobile
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

Should states be allowed to issue religiously-themed auto license plates to people who will pay extra for them?

If it's more complicated, how so?

Inpsired by seeing different versions of this in several places just recently.

Poll #1184263 Phat Beatz
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 33

If you were going to use text to represent techno music, how would you spell it?

Okay, other. Please don't bother with stuff like "I'd spell it suk suk suk," hur hur, now go away.

"Thank you for calling Company Industries, Inc. Using the keypad on your touch-tone phone, please enter your 14-digit account number now."

"Um... 6... 7... 1... uh... 8... 8... 0... wait, did I get two 8s... crap, just keep going... um... 1, 9, 7, 4, 3, 2."

"Thank you. A representative will be with you shortly."

[5-20 minutes later]

"Thank you for calling Company Industries, Inc., this is Sharon, may I have your account number please?"

Poll #1109979
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19

Your level of hatred at this moment:

Certain cities have... certain smells. Dublin, for instance, always smelled very damp and enclosed to me. Not necessarily as if it were moldy, but as if it were on the verge. Not unpleasant, just... damp. And London, while it had the same undertones of damp stone and diesel fumes of every other European city, also had a reek of piss which was not overwhelming, but always there. Etc, etc. I'm only asking about a few cities here - feel free to fill in any other cities you've been in which held a different scent. (And obviously if you haven't been to the city named in the question, just leave it blank.)

Poll #1085007 The Scent of A City
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

What does London smell like to you?

What does New York City smell like to you?

What does Paris smell like to you?

What does Prague smell like to you?

What does Los Angeles smell like to you?

What does Berlin smell like to you?

What does Tokyo smell like to you?

What does Buenos Aires smell like to you?

What does Bangkok smell like to you?

What does your home town (if not mentioned here) smell like to you.. if anything?

Of course, by all means, if there is a city with a distinctive smell for you, please tell us about it in the comments.

Poll #1064553 Neurasthenia, or just description?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

If I describe someone's trumpet playing as "like butter," it makes you think:

What I mean, by the way, is this. Chet Baker, man.

Answers to this quiz. (This'll probably be the last one for a while, so I hope ya enjoyed it.)

#1: Other than the actual Mediterranean, which four areas in the world possess an "official" Mediterranean climate?

Answer: Southern Calfornia (US), Perth (AUS), Adelaide(AUS), Santiago(Chile)

Which is why they're generally pleasant places to live, at least as far as the weather is concerned.

#2: Which of these countries border Czechoslovakia?

Answer: None of the above.

Yeah, it was a trick question. Czechoslovakia doesn't exist, and hasn't for about 16 years now. It split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia in the "Velvet Revolution" of 1991, shortly after the fall of Communism. If the question had been which countries border the Czech Republic, the answer would have been Germany, Poland, Austria and Slovakia. If the question had been which countries currently border the former Czech Republic, it would have been the four given, plus the Ukraine.

#3: How many States and Territories are there in Australia, not counting "external" territories?

Answer: 6 states, 2 territories

Now, VERY technically there are actually 3 territories (Northwest Territory, Australian Capital Territory, and Jervis Bay Territory). But nobody in Australia actually considers that last one a real territory, and in fact I gather most Australians aren't even aware such a thing exists, since it's basically just a federally-run naval base and only 611 people live there. So I'm going with 6 states and 2 real territories, and the Australian Geography teacher backs me up on that.

#4: Which country contains the southernmost point in mainland South America?

Answer: Chile

It kinda curls around the southern tip of the continent.

#5: Canada's Hudson Bay is larger than any state in the contiguous United States.

Answer: True

#6: Which is larger, Greenland or Iceland?

Answer: Greenland

Despite the names, though, Iceland is a far more pleasant place.

#7: The largest country on Earth in terms of land mass is:

Answer: Russia

#8: Uruguay is north of Paraguay.

Answer: False

I'm sure there's a clever mnemonic to help you remember this, but on the other hand, when the hell are you going to need to remember this?

#9: Suriname, Guyane, and Guyane (aka "French Guiana") are located on which continent?

Answer: South America

They sure sound kind of African, don't they? And yet they are not.

#10: What is the most populous city on the largest island in the US state of Hawaii?

Answer: Hilo, Hawaii

This one could also have been in a "read the question carefully" quiz. Honolulu is far and away the most populous city in Hawaii, but it's on Oahu, which is dwarfed by the big island, aka Hawaii.

#11: Where is the world's southernmost ATM (Automatic Teller Machine)?

Answer: McMurdo Station, Antarctica

I would've thought Ushuaia too, as it's the southernmost town of any size. But apparently there's about 1,000 people there at McMurdo Station, and even more surprisingly, there must be something to buy.

#12: What is the longest river in the world (and certainly the longest of these choices)?

Answer: Nile

I gather there's some argument over exactly where the Amazon really starts, and so it might possibly be nearly as long as the Nile, blah blah blah. But out of the five I gave you, it's definitely the longest.

#13: Which of these countries is smallest in terms of land area?

Answer: Israel (whether you include disputed territories or not)

UAE is actually not that small. You may have been thinking of, say, Qatar or Bahrain, which are itty-bitty. I probably would have made the same mistake, if I hadn't gone and looked it up so I could write this quiz.

#14: Vatican City is the smallest nation on earth by size. It also ranks in the top ten (#6, to be exact) of which category?

Answer: Population Density

It's probably up there in per capita income too, but I gather they don't report.

#15: I enjoy being yelled at about panhandles. So, which country in Europe has the truest claim to having a "panhandle?"

Answer: Austria

Now I never want to hear the word panhandle again. Thank you, and good day. I said good DAY.

I just can't seem to get enough of being yelled at about my polls, but you know, I'm that guy in you class who acts out to get the teacher to notice him. That kid understands, as do I, that even negative attention is attention. This is how the Paris Hiltons of the world are created. My only mistake was not having been born with millions of dollars with which to create my mischief. Anyway, uh, here's another quiz!

Poll #1059362 World Geography Quiz
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

Other than the actual Mediterranean, which four areas in the world possess an "official" Mediterranean climate?

Which of these countries border Czechoslovakia?

How many States and Territories are there in Australia, not counting "external" territories?

Which country contains the southernmost point in mainland South America?

Canada's Hudson Bay is larger than any state in the contiguous United States.

Which is larger, Greenland or Iceland?

The largest country on Earth in terms of land mass is:

Uruguay is north of Paraguay.

Suriname, Guyane, and Guyane (aka "French Guiana") are located on which continent?

What is the most populous city on the largest island in the US state of Hawaii?

Where is the world's southernmost ATM (Automatic Teller Machine)?

What is the longest river in the world (and certainly the longest of these choices)?

Which of these countries is smallest in terms of land area?

Vatican City is the smallest nation on earth by size. It also ranks in the top ten (#6, to be exact) of which category?

I enjoy being yelled at about panhandles. So, which country in Europe has the truest claim to having a "panhandle?"

And lo, there was much complaining. Not about the things I thought there would be complaining about, though. So let's get to the answers!

#1: Which of these is NOT one of the Great Lakes?

Answer: Lake Milwaukee

Everybody got this one right. Well done, you people.


#2: Oklahoma borders New Mexico.

Answer: True

You wouldn't think so, but it does. Just a little bit. See, look.

#3: Idaho borders Canada.

Answer: True

Everyone got this right, too. You're all geographic experts! Especially on the easy ones. ;)

#4: "Four Corners" refers to the conjunction of which four states in perfect right angles?

Answer: Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado

Another one nearly everyone got right. I sure hope you people weren't looking at maps. Anyway, I've been to Four Corners. It used to be a stone slab stuck in the middle of the desert, with the exact meeting point painted on it. There's a picture of me at about 8 years old, straddling 4 states at once. (Much like some day, in which I will straddle the world as a colossus.) These days, apparently it's a "tourist attraction" with a visitor's center and stuff. To which I say... really? WHY? It's only good for about 10, maybe 15 minutes of amusement.

#5: Philadelphia is an ocean port or a river port?

Answer: River... or, heh-heh, Ocean

I hadn't actually intended this to be a trick question, but further research has led me to the conclusion that I'm no longer certain. There's no question that Philly is on the Delaware, though it's certainly close to Delaware Bay. However, the freshwater Delaware apparently meets tidal waters just south of Trenton, NJ. And at Philadelphia, there are tides varying up to 6 feet. So... I guess it's sort of both.

#6: Which two states have "panhandles?"

Answer: Oklahoma and Florida

Who know this would be so controversial? Well. Perhaps some other states claim to have "panhandles." In my opinion they are of low quality, incapable of supporting a pan. Those states ought to be ashamed of themselves for trying to grasp a panhandle glory which is not theirs.

#7: Which state is it impossible to stop people who live there from showing you where they live in that state using their hand as a geographical stand-in?

Answer: Michigan

Really, you just can not get them to not do it. It must be something they teach in the schools up there.

#8: Which town claims the crown of farthest north in the contiguous 48 states of the US? ("Contiguous"=Alaska don't count)

Answer: Angle Inlet, Minnesota

There's a little chunk of Minnesota that extends above the 49th Parallel. No other point in the US is above that line, not even the tip of Maine. There is a tiny little town on that chunk called "Angle Inlet," at least on the map I've got. Apparently it also goes by Angle Township, so if you missed this question because you were scratching your head, thinking "Angle Inlet? But it's Angle Township! The answer must be something else" then I apologize.

Anyway, it ain't much, but it's there.

One interesting thing about this area, along with Point Roberts, WA, the entire state of Alaska, and a few other spots in the US: you can't drive directly there from the United States. You have to either fly, take a boat, or drive through Canada. (Not that driving through Canada is bad. I just found that fact somewhat interesting.) Our southern border does not seem to have any of these anomalies.

More amusing poll fun, only this time it is stuff you all can't argue with me once I give you the right answers. Wait. You probably *can* argue with me, and no doubt will do so. But this time I will merely laugh.

Poll #1058326 U.S. Geography Quiz
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

Which of these is NOT one of the Great Lakes?

Oklahoma borders New Mexico

Idaho borders Canada.

"Four Corners" refers to the conjunction of which four states' borders in perfect right angles?

Philadelphia is an ocean port or a river port?

Which two states have "panhandles?"

Which state is it impossible to stop people who live there from showing you where they live in that state using their hand as a geographical stand-in?

Which town claims the crown of farthest north in the contiguous 48 states of the US? ("Contiguous"=Alaska don't count)

Poll #1056082 Delicious Breakfast
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23

Most Delicious Breakfast Ever

G'head, some other dang thing.

At long last, the answers to the Cooking 100 Mid-Term Exam. I also unscreened the comments, if you'd like to go back and see what people said.

#1: When cooking pasta, you should put a bit of olive oil into the water to help keep the pasta from sticking together.

Answer: False.

This is a pretty common myth, and I've gotten into arguments with people before about it. But oil and water don't mix. All you're doing is creating an oil slick on top of the water. The best way to keep your pasta from sticking together is to use a large enough pot and plenty of water, to give the starches that are released from the pasta a place to go.

#2: Speaking of boiling pasta, you should put some salt in the water because:

Answer: It seasons the pasta

Most of you got this right, but you'd be surprised at the number of people who really believe that putting salt in lowers the boiling point of the water and makes the pasta cook faster. As boffo pointed out, the first thing wrong with that is the physics. Salt raises the boiling point of the water, so theoretically the water would be hotter than it could normally get, thus cooking the pasta faster. However, a few teaspoons of salt in 6 quarts of water raises the temperature by an almost immeasurable amount - your pasta may cook faster by a few milliseconds. In plain English, "It doesn't do a damned bit of good." So salt in the water doesn't make the pasta cook faster, but it will definitely make your pasta taste better.

#3: When shopping for ingredients in the supermarket for a tomato sauce, you should almost always purchase:

Answer: Diced or crushed canned tomatoes

There may have been some confusion - when I said "Whole tomatoes," I was referring to whole, fresh tomatoes, not whole canned tomatoes. Sorry if I messed you up. Anyway. The reason to get canned tomatoes instead of the fresh ones is that canned tomatoes are picked at the absolute peak of freshness, and that tasty goodness is sealed into the can. Whearas except for a month or so out of the year, "fresh" tomatoes at the market are out of season, flavorless softballs.

#4: Whether you are roasting, pan-frying, braising, or even stewing meat, you should always brown the meat on all sides first because:

Answer: The browned bits taste good

This one fooled quite a few people. Sometimes the simple, stupid-sounding answer is right. If I'd said "The Maillard reaction which occurs when meat proteins are exposed to high, direct heat creates complex flavor molecules" I bet a lot more people would have guessed that. No amount of crust will keep any of the juices in. Can't be done. But those brown crunchy bits on the outside sure are deeeelicious.

#5: You're just finishing a delicate sauce (probably involving minced scallions and cognac - yes, THAT delicate), but on tasting, you find it needs a bit of seasoning to be perfect. What kind of salt should you use?

Answer: Any of the above are fine

If it's a soup, a sauce, or anything where the salt is going to dissolve, it doesn't matter what kind of salt you use. NaCl is NaCl. Even fancy-ass Sea Salt With Minerals From The Finest Seas In France are generally about 99.85% pure NaCl. I don't care WHAT the minerals are, if they make up only 0.15% by weight in a pinch of salt, you aren't going to taste them. You probably wouldn't even taste them if you put the stuff directly on your tongue. (But you might fool yourself into thinking you do, because by god you did NOT just waste 15 dollars on a little bottle of salt.)

Note: None of this is to say that there aren't some times when you do want to use a specific kind of salt - table salt for baking, kosher salt for seasoning meat, sea salt if you want some crunchy salt bombs on your tomatoes, stuff like that. (But I still think it's dumb to pay extra for minerals, a.k.a dirt. Oh, and here's a dirty little secret the Salt Barons aren't telling you - a lot of stuff that's sold as Sea Salt actually comes from mines. Doesn't bother me any personally, but you foodies may want to rethink your salt purchases.)

#6: Speaking of salt, if you oversalt a soup, an excellent remedy is to throw a halved raw potato in for a few minutes to soak up some of that salt:

Answer: False

It just doesn't.

#7: Short-order cooks cooking burgers on the grill often press down or put flat weights on the patties. Why?

Answer: It makes the burger cook faster, at the expense of losing some of the juiciness

Most everybody got this one right. Short-order cooks don't really care how good your burger is, if they can get it onto a plate 30 seconds faster. Can't say as I blame them, but I shake my fist at them nonetheless.

#8: When cleaning mushrooms, you should only ever wipe them with a damp towel - rinsing them in water causes them to absorb water, which can make them rubbery when cooked.

Answer: False

A lot of people, people who should know better, believe this. As misskaz notes, just about every chef on every show on the Food Network will tell you to never wash your mushrooms. And every single one of them is wrong. The only way to get your mushrooms to absorb any significant quantity of water would be to leave them soaking in a bowl of water for half an hour or something similarly ridiculous. A quick rinse under the faucet will not harm your mushrooms in the slightest.

#9: In most applications, fresh herbs are better than dried herbs.

Answer: True

Yep. There are some places where you want dried - if you're making a rub, or in something that is going to slow cook for a long time, a few other times. But mostly, you want your herbs to have as much as possible of the oils they contain which give them, and your food, a distinctive flavor.

#10: Red wine is often called for in tomato sauces because the alcohol in the wine reacts with the tomatoes to release compounds which help to flavor the sauce.

Answer: False

This is another one that a lot of people believe. While there *are* compounds in tomatoes (called "esters," I think) that can be released by alcohol, the proportion of alcohol in wine is too low to do much, at least in the quantities you'd put into a sauce. You'd need something ridiculous like 10 bottles of wine to get any appreciable amount of the esters out. The same goes for vodka in tomato sauces - there just isn't enough alcohol to do the job. So why put wine or other booze in? Because it cooks down and tastes good. There's plenty of non-tomato sauces that benefit from a bit of booze.

#11: When grilling with charcoal, regular briquette charcoal is pretty much the same as hardwood chunk charcoal.

Answer: False

I'd actually meant for this to be true, but I neglected to mention that I was talking about "how it makes the food taste." However, the two charcoals certainly do not act the same as far as how hot they burn and how long they last, so as written this is totally false.

#12: ADVANCED EXTRA CREDIT #1: In five (5) words or less, what is the basic technique for making a roux?

Got some pretty amusing answers to this one, which you're welcome to see for yourself. Here's my answer, in four words: Cook flour in fat. That's the absolute basic technique. Depending on what you're doing with it, the proportions of flour to fat can be different, the fat can be anything from butter to vegetable oil to bacon grease, and you can cook it anywhere from barely any browner than the flour itself all the way to a deep rich brown.

Why would you do this? To thicken stew, or gumbo, or soup, or sauce, or etc. If you don't cook the flour before adding liquid ingredients, it tastes floury and is likely to clump up on you. It won't cook in a dry pan, either. The fat and cooked flour also add flavor and color to your concoction. The darker you cook it, the more flavor is developed, but the less liquid it can thicken.

ADVANCED EXTRA CREDIT #2: What's in a mirepoix?

Celery, onions, and carrots. All chopped up. Props to the few of you who gave the proportions, which are 1 part carrots, 1 part celery, and 2 parts onion. I guess it's quicker to say "mirepoix" than all of that. Plus you feel all chef-ly saying "And now, I make the mirepoix." Laughing Gallicly through your nose is optional.

It's the usual French veggies used as aromatics (er, as flavoring) in just about everything. Sometimes you eat them, sometimes they're only there to give up their flavor and are removed.

Interestingly, a lot of cultures have a similar "trinity" of veggies that are commonly used - Cajun cooking uses onions, bell peppers, and celery that they actually call the Holy Trinity. Spanish cooking has the sofrito, which is garlic, onion, and tomato. Indian, Chinese, and many other cultures have these trinities.

So there you have it, the answers! Let the kibbitzing commence.

That may be the best title I've ever had in all my years of LiveJournal entries.

Anyway. I'm not grading this "exam." In fact the less you know about cooking, the more I hope you'll answer as many of these questions as you can. In a day or two I'll post the correct answers and explanations (and unscreen the comments).

Poll #1054050 Cooking 100 Mid-Term Exam
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 36

When cooking pasta, you should put a bit of olive oil into the water to help keep the pasta from sticking together.

Speaking of boiling pasta, you should put some salt in the water because:

When shopping for ingredients in the supermarket for a tomato sauce, you should almost always purchase:

Whether you are roasting, pan-frying, braising, or even stewing meat, you should always brown the meat on all sides first because:

You're just finishing a delicate sauce (probably involving minced scallions and cognac - yes, THAT delicate), but on tasting, you find it needs a bit of seasoning to be perfect. What kind of salt should you use?

Speaking of salt, if you oversalt a soup, an excellent remedy is to throw a halved raw potato in for a few minutes to soak up some of that salt:

Short-order cooks cooking burgers on the grill often press down or put flat weights on the patties. Why?

When cleaning mushrooms, you should only ever wipe them with a damp towel - rinsing them in water causes them to absorb water, which can make them rubbery when cooked.

In most applications, fresh herbs are better than dried herbs.

Red wine is often called for in tomato sauces because the alcohol in the wine reacts with the tomatoes to release compounds which help to flavor the sauce.

When grilling with charcoal, regular briquette charcoal is pretty much the same as hardwood chunk charcoal.

EXTRA SILLY CREDIT #1: Real men don't eat quiche.

EXTRA SILLY CREDIT #2: Which of the following are appropriate reasons to cook bacon?

ADVANCED EXTRA CREDIT #1: In five (5) words or less, what is the basic technique for making a roux?

ADVANCED EXTRA CREDIT #2: What's in a mirepoix?

Poll #1017827 Hey! Wait just one second!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

What the FUCK?!?!?

It's not like you've got long to live. You're gonna give up the ghost pretty much any day now. But at least you know it, so, you get to pick which songs are played at your wake/funeral/memorial service/whatever. Which three songs do you inflict upon your mourners (like you'll have any) to help remember you, to make them spill their booze, to really and truly commemorate you and your life?

Poll #1010260 Nine Rings To Rule Them, But Three Songs To Make Them Bawl
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

Song #1

Song #2

Song #3

So I got a Communications degree, which despite being derided as not a "real" degree, has actually opened doors to jobs that more or less suit me. But sometimes I wonder what might have been...

Poll #991681 Paths Not Taken
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

Which strange, possibly (but not necessarily) useless job should I have studied for in college?

If you want to check two boxes, for the person you *would* vote for and the person you figure you probably *will* end up voting for, go ahead.

Poll #972062 Decision Eventually
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 26

If the 2008 Presidential election were held today, who'd be your pick?

I present to you my utterly unbiased baseball poll. Well, except where I call the Anaheim Angels the Anaheims. I admit my bias there crept in a bit. Otherwise, though, this is entirely dispassionate. Yes.

Poll #961924 Who's It Gonna Be?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

Who's Gonna Win The AL East?

Who's Gonna Win The AL Central?

Who's Gonna Win The AL West?

Who's Gonna Win the NL East?

Who's Gonna Win The NL Central?

Who's Gonna Win the NL West?