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Dec. 24th, 2007

We took the Niblet to see Santa (an exercise in extreme cuteness - even the Santa's elf girl said "oh my god he's so CUTE" and it seemed like she meant it, which felt like hey, maybe my kid really *is* cute since lord knows this girl sees hundreds of kids a day, although now that I think about it she's probably paid to say these sorts of things). Er, so, that wasn't really a sentence but it did need to end.

Anyway. So after the Santadventure, there we were at the Grove, and the fountain was doing its thing. The Niblet was watching and me and the girl were discussing perhaps splitting up to perform various shopping duties and reforming the family again later and she asked me if I had my phone. While asking, she verified for herself the answer by touching the various pockets existing on me - jeans pockets, breast pocket on my shirt, back jean pockets.

So I said to her, "Is *this* how you ask if I have my phone?" I began pressing my hands to various places on her body. Hip, shoulder, flank, etc.

This is where it gets into why we are married: Somehow (and you probably have to be us to understand how) this set off a round of us touching each other, staring into each others' eyes, not exactly daring each other to laugh, but seeing who will be the first one to break: We stood facing each other not even a foot apart, touching each other in slow motion - not in a sexual manner, you understand, but just randomly pressing our hands on each other in various places (shoulder, top of the head, arm, neck, butt, back of the head, nose, whatever), all the while staring into each other's eyes, daring the other to bust out laughing.

I would have broken first, I think.

I feel I should also note that this happened at nearly the most popular time in one of the most popular places in Los Angeles.

And yet it still could have gone on for some time except that it was interrupted by someone who said "Excuse me? Could we take a picture here with the fountain?" And of course we moved, while feeling extremely embarrassed - had we really been having this silly game in an extraordinarily public place? Well yes, we were, and it was brought home when she pointed out that "I didn't mean to interrupt your touchy-feely thing!" We felt even more embarrassed, it was if we were having sex in public and she'd accidentally seen us. We left laughingly yet shame-facedly.

And now... we've got a story. But also, we have an example of us being willing to shut out the entire world and be each other's goons. I like that.

(P.S. If you had been that lady, and seen us standing there acting *weird as hell* would you not have, perhaps, asked someone else if they could move?)

No Whammies

I have a request: Please stop throwing the whammy on me and my wife.

I say this because divorce seems to be catching lately with our friends. But then people always look at me and byrneout and say "Oh, but you guys will be fine." And yes we will be, but hey, also, shut up! You don't tell a pitcher in the 7th inning that he's got a no-hitter going - he probably knows, okay, but if he thinks about that he'll lose his focus on what he has to do, which is get the next few batters out.

Much the same, you shouldn't tell me that after 6.5 years of an awesome marriage that "hey, you guys are gonna be juuuuust fine" because then I'll start wondering. Why would you even say that? I mean, we are gonna be fine, but, why do you need to tell me that? What about this problem where people we know are getting divorced after about 7 years? Are we REALLY okay? Huh? Are we? Huh? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THIS?

I know it doesn't work like that. But it makes me nervous and sketchy to be part of the marriage that is held up as proof that marriage can work the first time. In our case, it can and it will, but I'd rather not have anybody else looking at us as a way to be. We're not role models. Please ignore us and our strange little marriage.


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