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New Word Coinage Needified

Our culture needs a new word for "the act of staying late at work doing nothing work-related, with the intention of waiting just long enough to send one's boss an e-mail at a late hour, for the purpose of attempting to fool the boss into thinking one was working late into the evening."

My entry: "Mendacitiming."

Your entries are welcomed.



Isn't the day before Thanksgiving traditionally a nice, chill, slow day at work? It is, I'm sure of it. And yet until now, I haven't stopped working since the moment I got here, except to potty and a few minutes to buy a sandwich from the bagel cart. Sheesh!

(Wait, I did take 10 minutes to real quick get my e-mail and respond to a few people on LJ. And about 2 minutes to try my hand at a puzzle game that I instantly realized I am very, very bad at. So I guess it hasn't been non-stop work after all... it just feels that way.)

Another list of random stuff.

1. So... I just recently discovered Yahoo! Answers. Which is about what you think it probably is.

A recent question was "Why doesn't God punish atheists?" And my answer was "Because atheists would probably enjoy it, and God's not into that sort of thing. God is totally vanilla." Here is what is awesomely ironic: Quite a number of folks felt the need to punish this comment.

The one I won "best answer" for was this: "Are Christians more constipated than atheists?" to which I answered "Well, they *do* swallow the whole Bible."

2. Here is how good at my job I am: Somebody came over to my desk thinking I'd know the answer to something and I had to tell her that no, no I don't know offhand. Then she noticed a piece of paper with the answer in big bold print, stuck on my cubicle wall, about a foot and a half in front of where I sit every day. Durrrrrr.
[Me]   J is back, if you needed him for something.

[Co-Worker]     Cool, thanks.

[Me]   And then he just walked away again. I give up.

[CW]  Hahah, I looked and he wasn't there. I thought... did (you) mistake the short Asian man that walked by for J?

[Me]   You never know.

[CW]  That J is a master of disguise.

[Me]   Man of 1000 faces.

[CW]  but one flavor saver.

[Me]   Which flavor?

[CW]  I don't know, why don't you give it a lick and find out?

[CW]  sorry, that's gross.

[Me]   That's it, I'm having you taken in on harassment charges.

[CW]    hahahha

[CW]    It's not that simple.

[CW]    I studied employment law.

[Me]     Your lawyer-fu does not frighten me.

[CW]    It shouldn't, I use the force for good... kinda like a Legal Jedi.

[Me]     "These are not the torts you're looking for."

[CW]    that's a good one

[CW]    I'm going to use that.

[CW]    with a wave of the hand

[Me]     Feel free, but just remember it's (TM) Me, 2007.


Who Wouldn't Want This Job?

Title: Exempt Ungraded

Qualifications: Degree in: B.A. in Business, Public Administration, Human Resources, Counseling, Psychology, Social Science or related field, or equivalent work experience

You can see that this job, the job of being an Exempt Ungraded, is a difficult position with very specific job qualifications. Man, they don't just want any old schlub - you gotta know stuff about the stuff they need you to know stuff about! Which may be hiring people, or how to run a government department, or helping people out, or possibly understanding the dynamics of a modern society or, failing all of that, having gone to Pepperdine to be a manager.

Look, man. You want to be an Exempt Ungraded, you gotta WORK for it!



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