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Dangit, me

I snapped at my child earlier tonight, and I... well, maybe I wasn't wrong to say what I said, but I was wrong to have snapped at her.

I don't even remember how it came up, but she said something to me that included the words "good job, *genius*" and that was what set it off, and I snapped at her and, as un-angrily as possible under the circumstances, asked her to never refer to me like that again.

My nice Biscuit told me that it was okay for me to have my feelings and she isn't at all wrong, but it immediately prompted a rummage into my own soul to find out why that particular word set me off quite so hard. I try not to speak sharply or angrily at my kid unless it is in service of saving her from something dangerous, so why, at this time when she used that word sarcastically at me, need to be saved from the dangerous me?

The answer, alas, is my own insecurities. Most of us who are told we are gifted in one way or another as children eventually discover, in high school or in college, that  there are so many other people who are much, much more gifted than we are. And you better believe it hurts.

Eventually, maybe some of us find we have other gifts than, say, a proficiency for figuring out multiple-choice testing (even though I can still CRUSH that shit) or whatever the testing mechanism is today.

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I think I'm okay...

Not related to any viruses. But a while back I posted, asking to see if anyone had any issues with my old LJ likes list ( It seems nobody did. I have heard that David Foster Wallace may have sort of been problematic, maybe?  And Dave Attell is such a weirdo that it's hard to say.

But overall, I mostly just like things, and shows, and some bands, as opposed to specific people, and as far as I can tell none of those things are problematic. At least, not yet.  

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Oh, those interests

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How do traditions get made?

The answer is simple:  Start making them. It's really easy to start them. The hard part is to keep doing them until they actually become traditions. For my immediate and chosen family, one tradition has turned out to be easy as long as we all have some money and vacation hours, and that is the annual Disney trip.  It's also proved to be flexible, as it seems too many folks discovered our week-after-Thanksgiving plan — so this year we went in early February. 

Alas, it did mean that one of our favorite rides, Haunted Mansion, was down for major renovations (to the point where they had it wrapped in a giant, um, wrap), but there were compensations:  For our tenth year, we participated in something special, something that I have low-key always wanted to do:  Eating at Blue Bayou and getting to watch the Caribbean Pirate boats go by. Sadly our table was about as far away from the edge of the water as it was possible to be, but we could still just barely see them, and that was nice. And the food was better than the food you'd get in the rest of the joint too.... unless you got into Club 33, but maybe that's a goal for the 20th anniversary.  Heh.

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Uh oh

I have absolutely been neglecting this particular outlet for blathering, instead blathering other places... but mostly not blathering at all. I'd say sorry, but on the other hand, you've been spared a bunch of blather, so where is the crime?

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It really is so nice to spend time with your family of choice. At least, it is for me. I'm lucky that a lot of my biological family members are also people I enjoy spending time with, and that some of my extended family members are too... but in the end, it's the ones you pick who make for the best times.

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It's been real, it's been fun, but...

It's time to say "see ya" to Facebook.  There are many reasons why it's time to let this thing go, and increasingly many more reasons to kick it in the ass on the way out.  Reasons:

— They're selling the heck out of every tiny piece of my personal data. I know that's happening with Google, too, but hey, at least this source I can do something about.

— It has helped me reconnect with people I wouldn't have otherwise have been able to reconnect with, but on the other hand, it has helped me reconnect with people I wouldn't have otherwise have had to reconnect with.

— Increasingly it seems to be a right-wing news dissemination site. If you're on the right, that's probably cool with you, but I'm not. At the same time, the right complains that it's a left-wing dissemination site, which it might seem like that if most of the folks you know are leftists.  In the end, however, it seems like Zuck has decided to bank on the right.  One example is this one:, and here's a really interesting, but long, read about the rest:

There are many more links, ask if you want them.

Meh, that's enough for me, anyway.  I'll be on MeWe.  Look me up if you like... or don't.  Up to you.

pigeon, drive, transit


My wife always loved having a little kid. She was super enamored of the cuteness, and, well, who could blame her? This kid was super, super cute. (Still is!) But me, I was always looking forward to the later years, being able to talk to our child as something more of, well, not exactly equals, but as a person who I wasn't necessarily controlling but just hoping to guide, or at least talk through things with. Not an adult, necessarily, but maybe someone who was, let's say... approaching adulthood.

Things changed in the growing up process. The biggest change being that the person we thought was a he turned out to be a she. But she's also really cool, and willing to sit around and chat with her dad about high school, and getting in trouble, and friends, and drugs, and even just some silly jokes. I like this kid a lot, you guys, and I swear to you that it is not only because she's my kid — she's genuinely pretty darn cool and fun to have a chat with.

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Brilliant Product Idea

I  want my front door lock to unlock when I'm within a certain proximity, like with some cars.

Obviously this is immediately problematic — what if I were to leave my proximity key near the door?  Well let me tell you, I have got an answer for you and an answer for a few other objections: The door lock should only scan a radius of a few feet in front of it and be shielded from scanning anywhere else. I bet that's not as complicated as it sounds, he said, assuming something he probably couldn't.

I hear your objections and I can answer at least one of them! What if somebody steals your door key and gets into your house, you say?  Well, yes, that would be terrible, but even now somebody could steal your physical door key and get into your house. They'd have to know which house it is, though, same as now, right? Unless they knew which house it was or they stole it from you on your porch, so.... pretty much same deal as we have now, right?

Also, if you are one of those people who lives somewhere that nobody locks their doors, then okay, fine, you win, spare us your wonderfulness and the utter delightfulness of every single one of your perfect neighbors.

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OK Boomer

So there's been a lot of generational talk lately.  It's not all entirely wrong, I think — obviously different folks who grew up in different times experience the world and the culture at large differently. You only need to see one or two memes on Facebook about how "We grew up drinking from the hose and with no seat belts and swallowing lead paint and IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE FINE!" to get that. 

If there had been memes for previous generations, they might have been like "We grew up being kinda okay with fascists until it turned out that wasn't okay any more and then we killed the shit out of them and they killed the shit out of us and IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE FINE!" 

Most folks don't know that a lot of this was invented by two historians who have gone on to be shitty business consultants making a lot of money off their theory. In their book, "Millenials" was supposed to be the name for the generation born *after* 2000. Also, they called Gen X "Thirteeners" based on an idea that my generation was the thirteenth American generation and also that we'd be all "yeah, man, we're supes unlucky... number 13."  Some names stick, some really don't.

I guess the upshot is don't listen to any stupid marketing or business bros and instead treat humans like humans. This is literally the most simplistic stupid thing ever and I can't believe I'm typing it but well, here I am doing it: People are people, much like yourself. Treat them as you would like to be treated.