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Pennysaver Amusement, Vol 4

As always, all ads reproduced faithfully, typos and all, except when truncated due to length and of course removing phone numbers and such.

MAGNETIC MATTRESS PAD
Twin size, never used, $100.

There are two possibilities here: 1) It's got some magnets or at least chunks of metal that they *say* are magnets, and it's supposed to increase your health because blah blah bullshit; or 2) It's actually seriously magnetic and if you lay down on the thing with, say, a wrench in your pocket, you will never ever get up. The former is more likely, the latter is way more amusing. "Aw, c'mon baby, I know you say you want to leave, but just hold on to this chunk of rebar and lay down on my bed for a minute! Won't hurt ya none!"

ELDERLY WALKER
Rolling walker in excellent condition, $75

Yet another ad where the item description absolutely failed to live up to the promise of the headline.

AEROBIC STEP FOR SALE!
$60. Call for more information.

There's nothing inherently funny about this ad. However, I imagine that it is quite amusing to hear the the person who placed this ad walking down the street. Someone who attempts to charge 60 dollars for a used piece of plastic that is nothing more than a step - that you step on and off of - clearly has giant brass balls, and it's not hard to imagine that they make quite a risible clanking noise as this seller trundles around.

POWERFUL KING OF FAN
Very good condition, $18.

KING OF FAN has POWER! KING OF FAN kick your ass with gusts! KING OF FAN destroy any fan get in way! KING OF FAN so fucking awesome. KING OF FAN blow you HARD! ....Now look. I know you are going to think that I made this one up. Who puts an ad in the Pennysaver with the headline POWERFUL KING OF FAN? The answer is, I don't know. But I'm considering buying his or her fan, because I have already gotten more than 18 dollars worth of amusement worth just thinking about POWERFUL KING OF FAN.

That's the end of this most recent installment. Join me the next time the Pennysaver has enough amusing ads to amuse us.

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
travspence
Apr. 14th, 2010 05:48 am (UTC)
This stuff is as funny as an episode of News Radio.
dogofthefuture
Apr. 14th, 2010 07:48 am (UTC)
Awesome! NewsRadio was a very funny show. Therefore I take this as a compliment. Thank you, Travis! I am pleased that you found it amusing. Hooray!
travspence
Apr. 14th, 2010 03:30 pm (UTC)
You're quite welcome. I've felt for a long time now that you are a real Andy Dick.
seal_clubber
Apr. 14th, 2010 03:05 pm (UTC)
I want Powerful King of Fan!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )